question and answer

We are up early this morning. After I gave the little man his first cup of milk I let him watch Nick, Jr. I am currently online when I encountered the word mesothelioma and asbestos and since the husband is within hearing distance I asked him what it is since I have heard and read this word often enough. I could have easily searched it online but I always ask him first if he heard about it. He said it is a form of cancer which results from the exposure of asbestos and a number of people are afflicted with it because it was used by manufacturers in the late 19th century. I thought about lead and the scare it gave me just a few years ago when I heard about it but it seemed like this is another story. I don't know if there is any known and effective Mesothelioma treatment or how people live with this deadly disease caused by a chemical which was very useful at one time. I can only hope it can be treated. It is scary to even think about.

sharing dreams

The husband always talks to his sister on the phone. They talk about anything from family ancestors to their kids to future plans even dreams and hopes. Both have went through tough times because of their older kids too. They have a lot in common and they even have the same outlook on some things in life. I talk to her too from time to time. The other day they talked about living in the country where one can enjoy days of peace and quite. They talked about a home with a basement with plenty of bathrooms and exquisite copper sinks and buying dogs and having the property fenced in. It was fun listening to their conversation. Yes, they let me listen if I want to. In fact if I don't get everything the husband tells me about it. It is their way of de-stressing I guess. These two deserves more. If only I can give them what they want to make them happy I will. I can pray that their wishes and dreams come true. And to let them know I will be here when they need me.

plans

The stepdaughter and the husband were talking about starting up a business when they have the money to set it up. They think of getting into heating and air business because it seemed like there is potential to earn money there. The plan is to start small, probably set up a home office with as little office furniture as possible so they can spend the business money on advertising and hiring a crew. They have discussed the possibilities but the problem comes in the financial aspect of it. The phrase "when we have enough money" always comes up. It is easier to plan something but so hard on making it happen. Well, at least we have the plans to look forward to. Maybe someday it will happen.

playing together

I babysat the stepdaughter's kids this morning since she had a doctor's appointment. The little man and I went to her house and I let the kids play together and was surprised that they got along fine. I have watched these two in action and they used to fight over toys that I was prepared for the worst. Imagine my surprise when they sat side by side and play. There were even times when they play together. Of course they had to fight over a toy or two (I would have been disappointed if they did not, lol.) but all in all I had fun watching them. There were no pushing or biting or screaming. The little girl had to stay in her playpen so she will not get run over by her uncle and her brother but she was happy with the occasional attention they gave her. I am supposed to babysit them tomorrow since the mom has another appointment, this time to the dentist so she will bring the kids over. I hope it will be the same thing between the boys. Maybe these two are just happy to be with another kid basically the same age.

silly

The little man is getting sillier every day. He wants to act like a big boy. He makes this funny voice where he thinks he mimics his father's voice whenever he asks for milk. It turns out like he is trying to scare us, lol. The other day he put on his father's tennis shoes and walks around wearing it like a goof. Imagine a size 11 shoes on a two year old boy? It was hilarious! He followed his father around too with a silly smile in his face like he had done something monumental. It seemed like he can't wait to grow up. Although he is a handful most of the time, I do enjoy being with him. He makes me laugh, he annoys me, he makes me proud. Even the husband could not help but wonder about this little terror we have. We love our little boy and we hope he will continue to bring happiness to us.

on mails

Sometimes when I open my email I get all kinds of junk mails. I don't know how to make them stop sending emails I don't read. Some are subtle while others are blunt about what the email contains. There are even emails from dating websites which the husband asked me what I was doing about, emails offering jobs from Google which should make me earn hundreds of dollars in so short a time (I wish!) and of course the untiring scam emails about me being an heiress (does that sound good!) from somebody from a land so far away. There are occasional emails I read though especially if it concerns important topics as mesothelioma or information about my two year old son, or the sales that my favorite stores are having. Still I would like to be able to control what I see in my inbox but I don't think I can do that considering my email is from yahoo and it is free. I should just get used to this I guess.

starting over

When I look at myself and my fat tummy in the mirror, I always think I need a diet pill to help trim it. The husband told me I need to lose weight now before my tummy starts getting so big or else it will be too late. He made himself as an example the other night. He gained a lot of weight after we got married that most of it is around his tummy area. He has been trying to lose it and he does it by not eating too much. Exercise is a no for him so he cuts back on food intake instead. And he already lost ten pounds in two weeks. He said I should do what he is doing if I want to feel better about myself. So I am starting over again and hopefully this time I will have more self control. Maybe this time it will work and I will see the old me again. I am not aiming for model sexy but at least for me to not be disgusted when I look at myself in the mirror.

wishlist

I want to have a new digital camcorder. We have an old one but for some reason the video clips turn out blurry. I have tried to fix that problem but it only seemed to make it worse. I admit I am not a techie person and when I try to fix something it gets tore up instead. I hope that did not happen with the old camcorder though because I thought about just handing it over to the stepson so he can use it since only him knows how to operate it. It is hard to decide which brand to buy anymore though since there are plenty of digital camcorders in the market from different manufacturers and they do have different specs and prices. We usually opt for the cheapest brand for financial reasons but next time I think we will go for quality so it will last longer and we will not have problems with the result. I will make sure I will include a camcorder on my Christmas list. It is still a few months away but it will give us enough time to save.

when?

A lot of people, including the husband, has been asking me when will I get pregnant again. They are wondering since the little man will be three years old in a couple of months and they said I am still young (ahem!) so it is high time for me to get pregnant if I still have plans. I do have plans of getting pregnant again. I want a girl next time if I have a choice. There are things I have to consider before getting pregnant though. One of them is that the husband is recently disabled so he can't help me take care of the kids especially if it requires lifting and running after the little man. I had CS operation last time so it might happen again. And prior to that I had a very uncomfortable pregnancy especially the first four months. I was assured by a few moms like me that it is highly unlikely I will experience that again but I can't help being skeptical. And I also have to consider the needs the new baby will require like formula, clothes, disposable diapers, and the most important factor, its future. With the husband sick and me without work, what are we going to do with a new baby? Of course we are still hoping for the best. Miracles do happen. Maybe the husband will feel better and even if he cannot run after the little man he can still keep an eye on him provided the little man will behave. Perhaps next year when the little man will be four and hopefully will start to mind I might get pregnant again. I actually only have a few years and I will not be considered young anymore, lol. And maybe, just maybe, we will win the lottery so the kids' future will be financially secure. Does it sound like I have major problem? Not really. I am just waiting for the perfect time, that's all.

cellphone!

I was busy washing dishes in the kitchen when the little man who was playing in his room came running yelling cellphone! to me. When I asked him what was wrong he repeated the word so I asked if he heard my mobile phone ring. He then drag me to our room where I had my phone and sure enough it registered a missed call. Now I am pretty sure he has good hearing. For some time I wondered if he had hearing problems because of the way he ignores me when I reprimand him from doing something bad. I guess he has a case of selective hearing, lol. He only hears what he wants to hear and blocks out my nagging voice.